Create Smiles. Create Beauty. Create Joy.
Here is where I will keep track of what beauty I create in my day so that I can remember my groove. One a day to keep the Zanex away!!

Monday, October 20, 2008


Okay, I know, I haven't been working on my groove lately...haven't been having good days. Not horrible days, just failing to create beauty. Today I spent the day (besides laundry, work and blah blah) working to create more beauty in my house by adding beautiful finishing touches to unfinished projects throughout my house.

One thing I have discovered about being depressed is that it makes for many unfinished projects. A little hot glue, a hammer, some nails, and a bit of wood glue later...I have finished a few things to make life a little better (and to clear out my unfinished project table).

I knew that this whole "getting my groove back" thing would be hard but it is a little tougher than I thought. If you are working on it too I am glad to let you know that there are other people out there that struggle too. I am not one of those people (at least Stella isn't) that will pretend that I find beauty in everything in my life...I don't but I am working on it and that is all you will get.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Juiciness on bread

Beautiful jalapeno burgers with grilled onions, cheese, thousand island dressing, tomato, and lettuce...that I didn't have to cook.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Das Wetter

That is German for, the weather. My beauty today is the weather. The high today was 71. At last...we spent almost the whole day outside and I have thousands more freckles to prove it. That is not my beauty...the freckles. It is fun to let the kids play on their bikes, finally, and do a little yard work without sweating my patooty off.
Thank heavens.

Monday, October 13, 2008


Beauty= falling asleep at 8:45 p.m. in my lovely boudeau

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Night night me

Well bedtime is always beautiful but I have decided one thing to make my day more beautiful is to create beauty in my boudeau (you know the french word for bedroom...I have no idea if I spelled it right but you catch the drift and no, I am not talking about S-E-X perv. This has nothing to do with that.). About the time that I start getting the kids ready for bed (or after depending on the level of grouchiness) I make sure that my bed is made and looks pretty, that the room is clear of all children's shoes, books, and toy parfanalia, and then I turn on the lamp and warm up my smelly gardenia candle. By the time I go to bed it is smelling luscious, looking cozy, and calm. It is kind of like my own personal turn down service; if I had mints I would lay one out for myself. It is amazing what a difference it has made at the end of my days. This is just one way that I have found to create a moment of beauty and make bedtime a process to remember that peace and joy are possible even when I have a had a really cruddy day. (Now that I look at my room in this picture I really need to paint that wall...)

Friday, October 10, 2008


My beauty for today is unshaven legs.I was driving and I had the air on pretty high (sad for October I know) and I got the goosebumps. Now normally I would think "Ah crap I just shaved!"...but I didn't just shave so it's all good. Very liberating, kind of like when you don't have eye make-up on and so you can rub your eyes at will...good feeling!
So goosebumps, hit me with your best shot!!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

lessons from desert landscaping

I met with my Bishop today. My beauty is the counsel that he gave me and the thoughts that it evoked. We talked about appreciating life.
Lately I have been really thinking about this life. I have told a lot pf people that I am praying for the Second Coming, and I still am but I can't keep going through this life waiting for the next. I was driving mykids to one of the many places that I drive and I passed a row of desert trees (which by the way have already been unrooted 3 or 4 times this summer because of the monsoons) and I thought "i wonder if those trees will be in the Millenium?" Random, I know, but with my qwest to find beauty I tend to have random deep thoughts. But then I had this overwhelming feeling of appreciation for this life and for this experience. I thouhgt about all of my past life experiences, for example, my study abroad in Austria...I loathed going up the 76 winding stair every morning to get to school but now those stairs are a funny memory that makes me go to a simpler and amazing experience in my life.
I wonder how many things in this life I will never be able to experience again, and how many things I will never get to learn again---this is it! This is the time to go through trials, to revel in the heat, play in the rain, appreciate the ugly, wiry desert trees. This is the time to learn all that I want to learn, to become that person that can stand before the Lord at the judgment day and tell Him all about the cool things that we did, and saw, and experienced, and then give Him an accounting of what we learned from all of that. I intend to be able to tell Him this little beauty that I learned while driving to wherever, seeing a desert tree.
My beauty today is that this life is amazing and an opportunity greater than any that I will ever have again, not because mylife is boring, but because it is the ultimate experience, the ultimate "Amazing Race"!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Catch up

Well I missed the last two days...just got busy!

Monday: My beauty on Monday was a walk with my kids...the weather is getting cooler and it is actually tolerable and somewhat cool if you can catch it before 10 a.m. Arizona is beautiful when the weather is nice and the smell of orange blossoms is pungent this time of year!

Tuesday: My beauty yesterday was that I got to drive in the car by myself and had some time to think about what ever I wanted to and I had the feeling that this life is a fabulous adventure...a better adventure than any other that I have had and that is pretty exciteing. It is the only time that we will ever have these mortal experiences and that makes me want to take advantage of every experience...good and bad because you never know what things you will miss when it is all over!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

This day

Okay so today was a better day. Conference was nice and it was really nice to not have to jump out of bed this morning and rush to get to church. The kids fought like crazy but we were still able to hear most of the talks. My beauty for today has to do with my big brother. We have had an interesting relationship. Growing up we fought constantly but I always felt connected to him, of course, we were siblings and he has had a rough road and I have prayed for him most of my life and I believe that we are connected to the people that we pray for even if they don't feel it. We have been close in a weird sort of not close way, if that makes sense. I have never really known how he felt about me or if he considered us to be friends. It has actually been within the last few years as I have been fighting the battle of my life that we have gotten closer. He has told me within the last couple of weeks that he thinks that I am (I am quoting here) "phenomenal" and I am not trying to toot my own horn, well actually I am and I think it is okay to say that that made me feel good and it meant a lot coming from him.
Then today he gave me a card for my birthday and he wrote some nice things in it. That is my beauty for the day...a growing relationship with my big brother.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Another day

So today was kind of a hard day. I have felt heavy and a little bit like my light went out and I haven't been able to shake it.
I did however stick with my challenge of finding a bit of beauty today. There was a moment today when I was watching TV on the couch at my in laws and my baby was leaning against me and just sitting there with his fat little legs resting out in front of me on my [fat little] leg---he actually held still for a few moments and I was afraid to move because I didn't want to ruin that moment. Those moments haven't been happening very much now that he is on the move, he never seems to hold still for very long. It was a beautiful moment and I am grateful that I was able to snap out of whatever funk I have been in today long enough to notice it.

Friday, October 3, 2008

blueberry birthday muffin

Robert Frost said it best :
“You ought to have seen what I saw on my way
To the village, through Mortenson’s pasture to-day:
Blueberries as big as the end of your thumb,
Real sky-blue, and heavy, and ready to drum
In the cavernous pail of the first one to come!
And all ripe together, not some of them green
And some of them ripe! You ought to have seen!”

Today is full of beauty. It is my 29th b-day! I got to spend the day with my mom and it was so nice. A friend took the kids and we spent the day spending a few birthday dollars. My hubby fulfilled my request of blueberry muffins with the crumble topping and I am all good today.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Day one of the journey

These flowers are beautiful...they give me joy because my daughter who just turned 7 gave them to me on her birthday and wrote me a letter saying thank you for carrying her around in my tummy while she grew. Today while the kids were quiet (mostly because 50% of them were gone) as I walked by the table I noticed how the sun was coming in through the window and how beautiful they looked. I couldn't resist making a note of the moment.

Don't flowers look awesome with tulle around them like that--it makes them glow!! I bought myself that table cloth for my birthday and I love staring at it cause it is so freaking cool!